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  • Adele Leung

Not Needing To Get It Right

Most of us when we think about clothes and style, we so want to get it right. Coming from this place it takes away all the fun and actually make the process super stressful.

I have had many occasions in life where I want to get it right--such as relationships, food, how to act with age, how to parent etc etc, but getting dressed is one thing I have less of the need to get right! However, what we live is a ONE LIFE, and if I were to be super honest, allowing the energy of getting it right to invade my life, then slowly and surely how I dress would also be impacted by this compression as well.

So even more so in how I dress, I am super observant to not hold myself back. I am enormously beholding of myself (and therefore of others and clients I work with), to just allow myself to wear what feels to be true. Whether that look feels, in another's viewpoint, too young, too old, too bright, too baggy, too sexy, too body conscious, it matters little to me--I do not need it to be right, and I definitely do not need it to please anyone or make another feel more comfortable. I do not play ball with jealousy or comparison so if it brings up comparison for someone, I am not going to play small.

I am very comfortable wearing feminine styles throughout my life, but even though I adore the trendy and androgynous looks like sneakers and baggy pants, I have shied away from them with the viewpoint that they would hide my petite and delicate body too much. I wanted to get it right with presenting myself. But that took away a lot of fun until I started working with a brand that calls for elevated casual styles and my expressive juices started to flow again. I realized why I did not feel comfortable wearing such styles before--I thought it was due to my body frame, but in fact, it was because of the rigidness I wanted to present myself with that resulted in a body shape reeking of being good. It was truly not worth it, and I'd rather be less perfect and enjoy much more of life. When this happened, wearing casual wear NEVER looked casual. It never looked cheap. In fact, it only looked like life is the best experience ever, which it is.

I did not have to be always showing others how sexy a woman feels, I did not have to carry the burden of not hiding myself so as

to encourage another, I did not have to feel bad when nobody knows my good intentions (yes, another good!), I did not have to be wearing heels when sneakers are much more comfortable, I did not have to compromise myself in any way. I simply just dropped needing to be good, be right, and just be real.

I am well aware that sometimes baggy clothes make me feel unisex and genderless, but that is exactly what I am feeling. I am not wearing these clothes because I feel less womanly, no. And there is simply adoration of no matter how I feel about myself. No critique. No judgement. Just pure adoration to simply express.


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