Today is my birthday.
I spent the whole day working and in fact, I am still in the office now writing this blog.
I was called back to the office while on the way to celebrate my super amazing birth, and ended up working the whole day (and now night) there.
So it must be that this year, instead of enjoying my day off work, I was to enjoy it in work!
Yes my amazing birth is deeply connected to work. But what that really meant, I had no idea.
I truly love to work and every year my super amazing birth tells me more and more of the true value of my work. When I wanted to attach an identity and recognition onto my work, I always end up feeling crushed. I realised when we work under entitlement, we always crush another. But the normality of how we work under a total contraction and annihilation of space means we are always smashing ourselves and each other.
I got a test today and that was when I didn't have the chance to make sure I had the space to work and having to work under the expectation that I don't need to (cos it's my birthday!) having my entitlement challenged, I went to work. Truly, energy never lies, and the spaciousness that I usually have when I am ON for work was crushed and I felt cramped. This feeling was disgusting and clearly it would affect the super amazing birth day as well as the situation I was in.
I quickly let go of the birthday entitlement and just surrendered myself to working, but still held onto the entitlement of identity and found that I can't be truly working if I still wanted recognition. As I realised the space I was in didn't allow my usual luxury (read: addiction) of being in the deep play of building a styling powerpoint, my super amazing birthday was giving me realisation after realisation how to work more true.
I was blatantly raw with myself and also with the people I was working with--which is the true gift of this amazing day. Work often functions in such a robotic disregarding way that it hurts us even more than the abusive rhythm we are already working in. Not that we have to change the system or the rhythm for we cannot, but let's not pretend we are robots when our body is clearly delicate and sacred and hates any form of abuse. Let's not pretend we love the LIE!
Below is a behind the scenes video of how we roll in work :)