- Adele Leung
When Single Parents Date Again, How Do We Support Our Children Through This Change?
I spent most of the last 14 years living with my son alone, and I deeply appreciate this time we have had and the relationship we have built.
After all 14 years is not a short time!
Around a year ago I started a committed romantic relationship and my son felt his place at home was not the same as before. I had no clue what can be done, all I knew was any disharmony felt by anyone in the home affects the whole family.
As a woman and a mother, when I feel disharmony, my strength is to communicate. But this time my way to communicate has changed. First of all, I spoke less. When I listened more, I started hearing more of what my son wanted to tell me. And when I spoke less, he started talking with me more.
I realised that he did not dislike his mom, but rather he disliked change. I expressed that we have not lost anything between us, even if we have not treasured each other as we could have in the past, this is a process for everyone. So if in my relationship or work there are new changes or challenges, I will commit to enjoying them, so through living, my son would receive the reflection that committing to the changes in life can be an amazing thing. I would also share my challenges with him honestly, so that he knows we are both facing life together.
I feel as parents, it is important for us to support ourselves to be able to support our children.